You Blink When You Lie

Every morning Arya greets us with gummy smiles and sweet little coos while failing her arms and kicking her legs in excitement. We gush over how much she’s changed and all the new things she does. Some days I swear she looks different after a nap. On Wednesdays, we add a little Happy Birthday song into our morning routine. I can’t believe this is our sixth Happy Birthday song!

I don’t bother to wear my eyes anymore, unless I have to leave the house. Everyone (aka Arya) I need to see is within two feet of me at all times. I never venture too far away from her, which works out well since Arya is big on eye contact. She fusses if the person she’s looking at doesn’t look back at her. It’s pretty crazy how important eye contact is to her at this age. She even turns her head back and forth between Brett and I when we have a conversation.

We’ve had a couple rough days here and there, but for the most part she’s a happy baby. Arya is a bit of a night owl. She stays up until 11 pm most nights and wakes up around 9:30 am in the morning. While she sleeps well at night, she isn’t a fan of naps during the day. She naps for an hour and stays awake for three hours at a time. It’s so much fun to interact with her for longer periods of time, but I worry she’s not getting enough sleep to grow properly.

We’ve found our rhythm with breastfeeding for the most part. The pain is mostly gone and I’m truly enjoying feeding her. She is putting on some chub and I LOVE it! I’ve always wanted a chunky monkey with more rolls than a French bakery. I kiss her all over ALL. DAY. LONG. I bite her little jelly rolls and give her a new nickname everyday. She’s also done with pacifying on the finger. She spits it back out when we try to soothe her. She gives us a “this is not a boob, do you take me for a fool” look.

Brett’s mom visited Arya over the weekend! Grandma read her books and conversed with her. Mom loved having Arya sleep in her arms.  There is something so satisfying about sleeping with a baby on your chest. It’s one of my favorite things to do with Arya. I never put her down for chores around the house.

I hold her close and savor every minute of this phase. The days of holding her as a newborn are coming to an end. She’s turning into a baby! We’ve changed the snap size on her cloth diapers and put away some of her 0-3 months clothing. She even stopped peeing and pooping on me during her daily massage! I’ve also noticed her ability to see things farther away.

We also had our friends stop by with their kids, who were instantly taken with Arya! They took turns holding her and kissing her. It was so cute! Branson and Sage were gentle and took care not to touch her head too hard. They also gave her a magic wand that makes noise every time you move it (or put anything near it) and it does not have an OFF switch.

I finally gave Arya a bucket bath in the kitchen sink. I usually take a bath with Arya every night as part of our bedtime routine, but for those rare days when I take a bath earlier, I needed another option. I asked Ma about it and she said to use a bucket. It’s what she did with us when we were babies. It worked out for the most part but I didn’t feel like I got Arya clean enough. The bucket also felt a little cramped, as you can tell from her “what is this dinky little thing” look.

Postpartum- I feel pretty good and am dying to be active again. I did my first postnatal yoga session and it was refreshing to get my body moving again. Brett and I have come up with a schedule that allows me to practice yoga three times a week. It helps keep me sane and feel good about my jiggly body. I almost felt better about my body right after I had Arya than I do now.

The next step is to figure out when Brett can workout or go for a run. He has a race coming up in May and needs to start training! We check in to see how our schedule is working out often and tweak it accordingly. Everyday it gets a bit easier.

Holy cow! ONE month old already! Arya is growing up so fast. Even on her fussiest day, I wish time would slow down. I want to breathe Arya into the deepest crevices of my soul. I want to remember everyday- every smile, every cry, every feeding, every look. I want to burn every moment I spend with her into my memory.

At her one month check-up, Arya weighed 10 lbs and 7 oz. Grow baby grow! By the next visit, we have to decide if we’re vaccinating or not.

Arya is noticeably more interactive this week. She’s awake for about an hour at a time. We spend more time playing and “hanging out” each day. We read books, talk, listen to music, dance, and play with toys. Some of her favorite books include Hello, Animals, Hello, Bugs, and I kissed the baby! (my favorite). She throws her arms and legs around, makes cooing noises, and looks back and forth between the book and me. Arya has also started to rub her eyes when she’s tired with her little fists. She’s got so much personality already.

Getting Arya to take naps during the day has been a challenge. The only way she seems to fall asleep and stay asleep is on my chest. This week I finally started putting her in the Moby wrap while she sleeps to give my shoulder a break. The moment I put her down, she wakes right up. We’re done trying to swaddle her- she either cries or escapes.

Feeding Arya is a painful, but amazing experience. My heart soars every time I feed her. I’m nourishing my baby with the best food possible. The pain will fade over time, but the deep bond will remain. I love the little noises she makes when she eats – the hungry gulps and the soft breathes of satisfaction. Arya puts her little hands on my boob while eating. Makes me smile every time. When Arya starts to get hungry, before the sweet request for milk with a “neh,” she will try to latch onto our cheeks, arm, chin, neck, and shoulder. We call them kisses from a hungry, hungry hippo!

She’s loving bath time. I take her into the tub with me and let her relax for a bit before I start washing her. We sing a bath time song I made up and she seems to enjoy it. I haven’t used soap with her yet. I don’t think she gets that dirty. She smells like a newborn with a hint of breastmilk. I still breathe her in all the time. It’s kinda creepy, but I can’t help it.

We’ve had a ton of family and friends visit this past week! Arya had Grandpa, Uncle Brian, and Nana & Nani spend some time with her as well as a few play dates. Very busy girl. Grandpa and Uncle Brian flew in for the weekend and they adored Arya. Uncle Brian even made up a poop song for her!

They were brave enough to join us on our first outing for a meal. We went to Stone Hearth for some delicious local and organic thin crust pizza. It’s my favorite pizza place, outside of New York City of course. Operation dinner out was a success! Arya cried in her carseat there and back but otherwise she was quiet and alert as she took in her new surroundings. I had to run out to the car to change her diaper and feed her because I haven’t figured out the public feeding and changing logistics yet. She’s still so new. I’m slowly learning how to do things with her outside of our home.

We’re excited to introduce Arya to our friends and their babies. Jeremy and Bethany came to visit with their gorgeous four month old, Josephine. It’s fun to see how much she has grown in just a few months! It also gives us an idea of what Arya will be upto soon.

When Nana and Nani came to visit this past weekend, Brett and I took the opportunity to go for a quick run (walk for me). It felt so good to move again! Brett and I even slept in for an hour while Nana and Nani watched Arya. It wasn’t a deep sleep, but we closed our eyes and rested without worry.

The first month hasn’t always been easy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love every minute of everyday. Sometimes I look at Arya and still can’t believe she’s mine. This has been the BEST  four weeks of my life.

Arya and I have an understanding- she gets to pee and/or poop on me at least once a day. The first couple times it made me run for the shower, but then I got past it and now I grab a wipe. Funny how pee and poop aren’t dirty when they come out of my baby.

Arya continues to charm us with her gummy smiles. She even laughs! She smiles really big and then her entire body shakes with laughter. I’ve come to realize the more foolish I appear, singing and dancing, the more she seems to enjoy it. Sometimes I wonder if Arya is laughing at me. She’s full of personality already and continues to share a little bit of herself with us everyday. Luckily, she seems to have her father’s temperament.

We had a couple rough days with Arya earlier this week. The nights are still good, but she’s definitely hit the three week growth spurt. I thought Nancy, our midwife, was trying to console us with a myth, but sure enough- Mr. Google verified it. She cried and cried and then I cried. Brett tried to step in, but all the swaddling, shushing, sucking, side/stomach lying, and swinging didn’t stop the crying. Arya seems to have found her voice and it is loud! No longer is it a cute little newborn short “weh.” It’s more of a “I’m a baby, hear me roar.” We have decided to not introduce a pacifier to Arya, but we let her soothe on our fingers if she needs to. It’s kinda weird, but it calms her down!

During one of Arya’s cry-fests, I remembered reading something about five words all babies use to communicate during the first three months in Superbaby.  We reviewed the information, but couldn’t hear the distinct sounds in Arya’s cries. Brett Googled “Dunstan Baby Language” and found examples of the cries. Immediately, we were able to pick up on Arya’s cries. She was hungry and had upper gas. We felt so relieved! We could finally understand her and give her what she needed when she needed it. The hungry “neh” was the first one I picked up. She actually latches better and feeds for longer periods now that I feed her only when she’s hungry. My issue with the DVD is the price tag. Just watch the Oprah episode and check out YouTube and save yourself some cash. It should be a fifteen minute DVD instead of a two disc program. Some parts of the DVD are just ridiculous. For example, after going over the sound for hunger, Dunstan actually says you should feed your baby. You don’t say.

Arya is an avid eater and she continues to feast. We’re definitely getting better at the whole breastfeeding thing. I’m not comfortable feeding without a cover in public yet. I use one of our organic Aden and Anais swaddle blankets to cover up. Sadly, I wasted $45 on an organic Bamboobies nursing cover. I thought it would work great but it’s too constricting and clings to the baby’s head. Despite the reviews- I would not wear it as a shirt in public. I just wanted something that didn’t scream I’m breastfeeding. I’ll stick to the blankets for now until I find something else.

Since Arya was born ripe at forty-three weeks, she had dry skin. The vernix had completely absorbed into her skin. After a few days of lathering on coconut oil, the top layer of skin began to flake off. We called her our little reptile for a little bit. As of this week, most of her dry skin has fallen off and she is one smooth baby! There is still a bit of dry skin on her head, but I’m going to wait until her bones harden a bit before rubbing the skin.

Arya received her first massage this week! I had been dying to give her one, but was a bit nervous. So when Ma came to visit, I asked her to show me. We heated up the room, settled on the floor with her changing pad under us, and got to work. Initially, when she started to cry, I was ready to call it quits. But, Ma said that’s how most babies react and she’d get used to it. So I pushed through and tried to distract her while Ma finished. Of course, Arya peeped and pooped on Ma. After the massage, we gave her a bath, fed her, and put her down for a nap (she slept for four hours straight!). This a routine I could get used to!

Postpartum- I’m feeling stronger and better each day. I continue to receive my twice weekly massages. I’ll cut back to once a week after four weeks postpartum. The little hymen cut last week set me back a little bit, but I didn’t realize it until I insisted Brett hold Arya while I move around furniture and vacuum the entire house. By the time I put away the vacuum, I was in tears. I was tender, my shoulder was on fire, and felt silly for being so stubborn. I had pushed myself beyond what I was capable of handling- it’s one way to find your limits.

Even three weeks after her birth, I often find myself staring at Arya with tears in my eyes. I can’t believe she is forever ours. I can’t remember life before Arya. What did I do before she came along? Nothing of significance.

Two weeks old?! I think I’m going to freak out every week I write a update, shocked another week has gone by and Arya is another week older.

When Arya’s umbilical cord fell (day 9), I jumped at the opportunity to give her a proper bath. Last week I wiped her down with warm water and a washcloth, but I was anxious for a proper cleaning. I took her into the bathtub with me and this is how the first bath went: after cleaning her completely, she poops in the water, we clean her off again, she pees and poops in the bath towel, we clean her off again, I pass her to Brett in clean towel #2, and she spits up. We stopped cleaning her and called it a win. It was fun to see Arya in the water because she loved it! She smiled and cooed the entire time.

Arya is officially anti-swaddling. We have the cutest organic Aden and Anais blankets but she hates having her hands restricted. So we wrap her legs lightly and laugh at our faux swaddle. She is also anti-clothes and loves naked baby time. She cries the entire time we dress her. Thankfully, we ordered tons of kimono style tops and a bunch of leg warmers. Pants are out of the question.

Arya is sleeping so well at nights, we still don’t know what all the “you’ll never sleep again” warnings were about. She has had a couple cranky days, but I wonder if it’s because she’s staying awake longer during the day. Honestly, I think Arya is a little homesick. It just occurred to her that she is not going back inside. Poor girl. Since this is Brett’s last week off work, we have taken extra family naps all week. We have no schedule of any kind and don’t look at a clock to eat, sleep, shower, or move about.

Postpartum- I feel better with each passing day. I keep forgetting what my new body looks like. I have massive breasts and the pregnant belly is gone. I often tell Brett “I feel like a hussy or a porn star.” He isn’t complaining. The day after I had Arya, I weighed 121 lbs, which puts me nine pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I’ve decided to wait until the six week mark to weigh myself again. It’ll give me a good post baby recovery and pre-active idea of my body. I keep telling myself all the extra bunches of love on my body are for breastfeeding. I actually feel pretty good about the way I look just two weeks after having a baby. That being said, I’m really looking forward to moving around again. Brett wants me to take it easy for a few more weeks and I constantly feel like I’m taking it too easy. But I know he’s right and I try to be patient with myself as I put on yoga pants or a pair of maternity jeans.

I can’t believe Arya is a week old today! It happened so fast. Just yesterday I was waiting for her to arrive and now I’m asking time to slow down so I can take her in just a little more.

We took three days to ourselves with Arya before inviting family to visit. It gave us a chance to bond as a family. We wish we had taken the week to ourselves. We wanted to savor our new family for just a bit longer! Can you blame us? She’s so darn adorable!

We’re sleeping surprisingly well! Brett and I never expected to sleep more than two hours at a time for the first month, but here we are well rested at one week. Arya is awake in short bursts during the day, the longest period being about an hour in the morning. It’s when we drop everything to play with her. During the night, Arya wakes up every three to five hours to feed. Sometimes we read her a bedtime story if she’s awake enough. Who doesn’t love bedtime story time at 4am? She sleeps right in the bed with us, either on top of our chests or in between us.

The one thing I was looking forward to was sleeping on my stomach. Turns out big breasts full of milk are quite tender. So I settled for lying on my stomach while supporting myself with my elbows while staring at my new baby.

There is no specific bedtime, feeding time, changing time. There is no schedule of any sorts. We’ve decided to let Arya adjust to the real world as we work around her needs. It’s not easy being a brand new baby. She’s working hard on finding her thumb!

Post partum recovery has been a learning experience for me. I feel great mentally and think I can do anything. That is until I go to do something my body isn’t ready for, and then I feel foolish. I’m suppose to take a break and recover for a few weeks, but since I didn’t tear, I forget to take it easy. I’m physically tender, but nothing that would get in my way of sitting Indian style. Except for Nancy- she said to keep my legs together and give everything a chance to heal. Nancy has a couple rules for post partum recovery- 1) NEVER wake a sleeping baby and 2) I’m not allowed to lift anything that weighs more than Arya. Brett is lucky we live in a two story house otherwise I would high-jack all the chores already!

Breastfeeding was something I was worried about, but Arya and I are working out the kinks one feeding at a time. My milk started to come in on the third day (you can tell by the color of the baby’s poop) and she is milk drunk! My breasts are tender and my nipples are sore, but I keep telling myself it is the best nutrition I can offer her. It helps to see her feed so aggressively. She is such an animated eater. She makes all kinds of noise in an effort to conquer the boob. Arya basically pounces on the nipple once she figures out it’s in her mouth. It’s the cutest thing ever!

The most rewarding thing about being a parent is seeing your child happy. On day two, Arya gave us a hint of how she was feeling! 

People say babies smile because they have gas. I don’t buy it. I have never seen anyone smile because they had gas. Babies smile because they’re happy and it would be insulting to dismiss their smiles as gas. When Arya smiles at us, we melt and smile back!

Meet our little ninja- Arya.

Born 8:35 in the morning at a beautiful planned home birth on January 4, 2012. 7 lbs 15 oz. 22 inches tall.